Ah the simple car key, what we do without it? We can lock our car doors, safe in the knowledge that it can’t be opened or stolen without it. Our second most expensive purchase protected by a strip of metal that we keep in our pockets, how it’s evolved over the years.
Originally you had to put the key into each door lock to open it manually as central locking wasn’t a thing. You would then have to insert the key into the ignition barrel to start it up, but before you could do that you had to take the load off the steering wheel so you could actually turn the key without it breaking. Then we had central locking, so now you could open the driver’s door and the whole car would open. Brilliant.
But we can do better than that, right?
Let’s add an alarm system to the car so no one will be able to steal it. So, we add door sensors to the interior lights and a siren under the bonnet connected to the battery. This later evolves into having a battery built in so it still works if the battery is disconnected. We can control the whole system by adding a small fob to the key ring with buttons to arm or disarm.
Hold on. If we have an alarm system we can also add an immobiliser to it so it can’t be started. So now we add a control module behind the glove box and connect it to the starter motor circuit. Fantastic. Except you can still bump start it! So now we can connect it to the coil so it can’t create a spark, except you can still add a live feed from the battery so it’s still vulnerable to theft.
Then we had the sophisticated alarm systems from the 90’s, the dreaded Clifford system. That was also the time insurance companies would offer discounts for an alarm or immobiliser fitted to your car. So all of a sudden you had to have it fitted by an approved installer to get the discount as you had to have the certificate of installation.
These new systems had all black wires so you couldn’t find the red wire to cut. Fantastic idea as they usually had colour coded ends or numbers on them, so to fit them you would cut the tip off and connect it to whichever system you wanted to immobilise. When I used to fit alarms I would cut into the fuel pump circuit so it would crank over. Why? It would create noise, thus bring attention and drain the battery rendering the car useless.
All this technology and we still had a basic key blade to secure our cars. Ford got imaginative in the late 90’s with their Tibbe design and BMW had a second round key for the alarm system, but essentially it was still a mechanical key. We also had the brief dalliance with the immobiliser fob which just dangled on your key ring as you would offer it up to a reader fitted to the car.
Then the key grew up, it got promoted. It became smart. It now had the immobiliser chip inside it along with the remote locking function. It could now open your windows as you walked towards your car or close them as you walked away. Now you don’t have to touch the key, just have it on your person and the door will open when you pull the handle and the car will start as long as the key is in the car or boot.
I was on the launch for the new Volvo EX30 last year and that doesn’t even have a key, it’s just a card that you offer up to the NFC reader in the door. Cars are now more secure than they ever have which is why you have no more car theft . . . do we?
